


Darkness to Light

by Rekall



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Noir, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 16:59:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1786471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rekall/pseuds/Rekall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the death of her husband, James, Natasha is determined to leave her old life behind and simply be a private detective. Her former boss however has other plans for her. HYDRA has been on the move with a weapon only known as the Winter Soldier. It's Natasha's job to find out what exactly the Winter Soldier is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darkness to Light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [a_q](https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_q/gifts).



_**October 12th - Journal Entry #152**  
I find myself wondering why I bother sometimes. Maybe Nick was right. That I should have stayed. Should have continued the fight. I couldn't stay though. Not without you, James. I loved you too much. I still feel the hole in my heart from when you were taken away from me. I needed to get away. Needed to give up._

A misty fog filled the early morning sky. It was all Natasha could see from the window of her office and it didn't help her foul mood. Business had been slow. It didn't help being the only female detective around. Sometimes Natasha wondered if she should have stayed with her old job but it was always a passing thought. There were too many bad memories. Plus Natasha liked being in charge of her own life. Even if it meant having a rundown office and few clients.

Placing her journal aside, Natasha turned her attention to the newspaper. The headline was grim. A presidential candidate had been assassinated during the night. A picture of the crime scene was on the front page and Natasha couldn't help but notice the small HYDRA logo hidden in the image. 

HYDRA was making moves again.

Anger stirred inside Natasha. HYDRA was the reason why she was alone. But HYDRA like it's mythological namesake was hard to kill. Every time one leader went down another would eventually rise in his place to carry on. It was hard facing an enemy like that. 

Exhausting.

Natasha didn't have long to think about HYDRA. Footsteps on the stairs caught her attention. She could tell from the sound of heels tapping against the floor that it was a woman. It was possible that they were heading to one of the other offices in the building but Natasha had a hunch that wasn't the case. The footsteps sounded familiar. 

Natasha fingered the gun that was attached to the underside of her desk. She always had a gun handy just-in-case for the worst situation happened. Natasha didn't have many clients but the ones she did have usually involved spying upon an unfaithful spouse. Natasha didn't want an angry spouse blaming her for the breakup of their marriage.

A silhouette of a woman appeared behind the glass in the door and it was soon followed by a firm knock.

"Come in," Natasha called.

The door opened and Natasha suppressed a sigh as she removed her hand from the hidden gun. "Please tell me this is a social visit, Maria."

"Hello to you too, Natasha." Maria's gaze didn't waver as she sat down and placed the briefcase she had been carrying on her lap. "I see you've gone back to your maiden name."

Natasha stiffened. It was a subject she didn't want to talk about. Instead she ignored Maria and decided to get down to business. "Why are you here?"

Maria wasted no time in opening the briefcase. She pulled out a thin file folder and placed it on Natasha's desk. "I want to hire you."

Natasha however didn't dare to touch the folder. She knew that it contained nothing good. There was only one reason why Maria would be there. "I'm done. I told you that and I told Nick that. I thought you got out too."

"I am," Maria insisted. "I'm doing this as a favour."

"In other words, Nick talked you into doing it."

Maria did not deny the accusation. "HYDRA is on the move again," she simply said, confirming Natasha's suspicions.

"I'm aware of that." The news article was still fresh in Natasha's mind.

"Nick now thinks that HYDRA is able to get away with so much is because of something called the Winter Soldier."

Natasha frowned. It was certainly news to her. She had heard nothing like that in her prior life. "What is the Winter Soldier?"

"That's what Nick wants you to find out." Maria slid the folder across the desk so that it was sitting in front of Natasha. "Everything will go through me. I hire you, you get me the information and then I'll report back to Nick. Your name doesn't get connected to his. No one will know."

Natasha doubted that.

"Why me?" 

"Because you're the best."

Natasha closed her eyes as she thought about it. Working for Nick again, even though Maria, wasn't appealing. It wasn't that she didn't like Nick; she did. But Nick led a dangerous life. One that already cost her so much.

"I'll do it."

Natasha told herself it was because she needed the money. In reality though no matter what she told herself she couldn't pass up the opportunity to strike back at HYDRA. She spent too long hiding away. It was time that HYDRA remembered that she was once called the Black Widow.

* * *

_**October 12th - Journal Entry #153**  
James, I'm not sure what I've gotten myself into. I just know that I can't do nothing if it meant getting revenge upon the people who killed you. Maybe I'm finally healing? Maybe this will be the last thing that keeps me from moving on?_

Natasha had never planned on falling in love. But then she had met James. Most however simply knew him as Bucky. The world had been different then. Better. And being with Bucky had been part of that. They married not long after their first meeting since they both knew they never wanted to be apart.

Then HYDRA took everything away. 

A shady organization with ties to just about anything, HYDRA thought they could do whatever they wanted. Many had died over the years because of them - Bucky included. Natasha had tried carrying on but eventually she grew tired of it all. She needed out. So she left. 

And now she was back in. A new fire burned inside her.

The folder Maria had left contained little information. All that was really known was that HYDRA had its hands on a weapon known as the Winter Soldier. There were no other details. Natasha was on her own in figuring out the rest. After that she felt like she would finally be able to leave behind the past and move on with her life.

The fog was still thick as Natasha walked down the sidewalk. The heels of her shoes clicking against the damp cement. She wondered if the fog was ever going to clear. It fouled her mood, making her depressed. Part of her felt like if the sun would just come out everything would be okay. The more rational side of her though knew it was a ridiculous thought. She would still be stuck in her rut of a life. It was a far cry from how she had started out when she just wanted to do good.

Life before Nick hadn't been easy. She grew up on the streets, picking pockets. She soon learned though that selling secrets brought in more money. She would hide, crawl into places that no one would even think of and learn their secrets. There was always someone willing to pay. 

She had lived that way for years when she had finally slipped up, was spotted and a kill order was put on her head. Instead the agent who had been assigned to carry out the task recruited her instead. Everyone needed to learn secrets and Natasha had felt it had been time to put her skills to a good use. Fortunately Nick had felt the same and he put her to work. Over the years working for Nick she had honed her skills but crawling into tight spaces wasn't the only way to gain information.

The bar was filled with smoke when Natasha entered it. She slid out of her trenchcoat and draped it over her arm as made her way to the counter. Sitting down on a stool, she ordered a drink and waited. She knew she wasn't among friends in the bar and she needed to be cautious. The good thing about being a woman was she wasn't normally viewed as a threat. In truth however she was probably the deadliest person in the bar. They just didn't need to know that.

It didn't take long for the whispers of a conversation to reach Natasha's ears. The pair were sitting near her, speaking in low tones. The more they drank though, the louder they became. It suited Natasha fine. She pretended to focus on her drink as she listened to their conversation.

"The weapon is near ready."

"At the normal place?"

"Yes."

"Then tomorrow will be our grandest day yet."

"Hail HYDRA," they murmured together as they drowned their drinks. 

Natasha heard enough as she silently slipped off her stool and exited the bar unnoticed. Crossing the street to a newsstand, Natasha bought a newspaper and pretended to read it while keeping a watchful eye on the bar's exit. She didn't have long to wait. The two men exited the bar together and then went their separate ways walking in opposite directions. Natasha studied them for a moment and then began following one. 

She stayed on her side of the street but she made sure to stay far enough back so it didn't look like she was interested in the man. Once again being a woman played to her favour. Most people didn't expect to be followed by a woman. Especially a woman armed with a gun just in case trouble happened.

The man rounded a corner and Natasha was quick to do the same. He didn't look back at her even once as he continued making his way through the streets. It was easy for Natasha to keep up with him but the entire time she remained cautious. She knew that being overconfident was a good way to mess up.

He led her away from the downtown area of the city and towards the industrial district near the waterfront. Finally he entered a warehouse but Natasha was not stupid enough to follow him inside. At least not through the front door. 

In the alley a ladder extended up to the roof. Natasha wasted little time in climbing it, making sure to make as little noise as possible. On the roof a guard was on lookout duty. Natasha waited until his back was turned before making her move. When he was turned away from her, she crept up behind him and whacked the back of his head. With a thud he fell to the floor of the roof.

The door on the roof was locked but that didn't stop Natasha. From one of the pockets of her trench coat she pulled out a lock picking kit. She didn't necessarily need the kit - lock picking with just about anything was second nature to her - the kit simply made things quicker. 

With the door unlocked, Natasha made her way into the warehouse. She found herself in the rafters, looking down upon aisles and aisles of boxed treasures. It was hard to tell exactly how far the boxes went as the lighting was too dim but Natasha had a feeling it went on for quite a ways. 

She also had a feeling that somewhere among the boxes was the Winter Soldier. Not that she knew exactly what that was just yet.

There were three men patrolling the aisles but Natasha didn't see the man she had followed. Not that it matter. He was useless to her now that she had the right location. 

Nearby was a ladder that went down to the floor. The darkness worked to her advantage as Natasha made her way down it. The guards never noticed her until it was too late. One by one they dropped as Natasha took them down from behind. When the third guard was unconscious, Natasha stood quietly and waited as she listened for any sounds. She wanted to make sure she was alone before continuing.

After a few minutes Natasha was satisfied. Fixing her clothes she began walking down the current aisle she was in. She didn't really know what she was looking for. There were so many boxes and crates of various sizes. What she needed to find was an office with some sort of filing system. Without one she could be stuck in the warehouse forever finding what she was looking for.

Wandering down another aisle, Natasha quickened her pace. There was no telling how long it would be until the unconscious guards were discovered. As she moved down the aisle she came to an abrupt halt when an odd object caught her eye.

It was a human sized cryostasis tube. Empty but it looked like it had been used fairly recently. Natasha shuddered. Whoever had been frozen inside had likely been there for several years. It wasn't right. No one deserved that kind of fate. It would be kinder to put a bullet into them.

A layer of dust covered the nameplate. Gently she brushed the dirt aside. She felt like it was her duty to learn who had been inside. At least then one person would know and remember the name of the person who had been trapped in a horrible frozen state.

A gasp escaped Natasha as the words became clear. It was three simple words: The Winter Soldier.

"Nick, what did you get me into?" she murmured. 

Moving on Natasha became lost in her thoughts. At least she now knew what the Winter Soldier was. She was one step closer into figuring things out. 

There was door near the rear of the warehouse. It was closed tight with no way to see who was on the other side. Natasha weighed her options. She could leave and report back to Maria. After all she did discover what the Winter Soldier was. Technically her job was complete. But at the same time Natasha couldn't let it go. For her own curiosity she needed to find out what exactly was going on. She needed to keep investigating.

Natasha placed her hand on the doorknob and slowly turned it. It was unlocked and as she carefully pushed it open, she relaxed a little. At the very least, no one was guarding the door. It meant she could proceed and hopefully learn more.

Slipping off her shoes, Natasha made her way down the hallway. She didn't want to make a sound. Unlike the main part of the warehouse there was no room to maneuver if she encountered trouble. In the hallway she was a sitting duck. It was risky but she couldn't help but feel the rush. It was a thing that had been missing since her retirement. Being a private detective simply wasn't the same. It was boring and easy work; nothing like her old life. The old life that Natasha suddenly found herself missing even though she had told herself that she wanted to completely let it all go.

Finally Natasha came to a room. A large glass window separated the room from the hallway and it allowed Natasha a look inside. A strange chair-like device was in the centre of the room, turned slightly away from her. It was surrounded by machines that had lights blinking on them. In the chair was a man but Natasha couldn't see his face. Around him were three other men. They moved about, working at the machines, not paying any attention to the hallway.

Natasha didn't waste time. Putting out her gun, she fired a bullet at the window. The glass shattered as the bullet struck it; the noise drawing everyone's attention. Another three shots were fired as the three men went down one by one. She no longer cared about what type of noise she was making. All she knew she had to help the man called the Winter Soldier. 

Hoping through the broken window, Natasha hurried to the man. She came to a stop though when she finally saw his face. Her body numbed. It was impossible. It was Bucky but he was suppose to be dead. She had watched him die.

Raising a hand to her mouth to suppress a scream, tears began rolling down from Natasha's eyes. She couldn't believe it. He was alive.

There was a blank expression was on his face. He didn't even respond when Natasha called his name. "What did they do to you?" she asked but got no response. He just sat there, staring.

There was a groan from the floor. One of the men Natasha had shot was still alive. With a shaky arm he pointed towards her. "Your mission," he spat before collapsing to the ground once again.

It was like a switch turned on inside Bucky's brain. He grabbed at Natasha, his hand gripping her throat. Her breath left her as she desperately struggled to escape. She clawed at his hand with her nails and croaked out his name.

A flicker of recognition appeared in his eyes before it vanished once again. He threw her against the wall. She landed with a heavy thud but at least she could breathe again. She rubbed at her neck but she didn't have much time. Looking up she saw that he was advancing upon her again.

Rolling out of the way, Natasha scrambled back through the broken window. Glass cut into her bare feet but it didn't slow her down. She had dropped her shoes when Bucky had grabbed her. She still had her gun though. Not that she was planning on using it. It was Bucky - her James - she couldn't shoot him. Not when there was something seriously wrong with him.

Down the hallway Natasha ran. Behind her she could hear Bucky and ducked just in time as bullets flew in her direction. She didn't know where he had gotten a gun but that wasn't a concern of hers at the moment. Instinct told her to simply get away.

Through the doorway she went back into the main room of the warehouse. She couldn't go up the way she had come in. It would make her be the perfect target for Bucky. Instead she ran down an aisle and changed directions at the first crossroad she came too. She kept the strategy up as she maneuvered closer and closer to the exit. It had its consequences though. She began limping due to the cuts on her feet and she was aware she was leaving the perfect blood trail for Bucky to follow.

Finally however she found the exit. Bursting through the doors, rain hit Natasha's face. Everything was dark and dreary. A lone street light flickered before completely going out, creating even more darkness. There was no one around to help her. She was on her own.

Huddling against the warehouse, Natasha waited. She knew with her bloodied feet she couldn't outrun Bucky. Instead she needed to find a way to take him down without harming him more than what he already was.

Through the doorway came Bucky. As he passed her, Natasha jumped onto his back. The momentum pushed them both to the ground and Natasha kicked at Bucky's gun. It went sliding away and Natasha heard a plop as it landed in a nearby puddle. 

"Stop this," Natasha said as they both got back to their feet. Natasha was wet and her clothes were torn in places but none of that mattered. "This isn't like you."

He didn't say anything as he swung at her. The move missed as Natasha sidestepped out of the way. Her heart broke. Whatever they had done to him had damaged him a great deal but she couldn't think about that. She just needed to find a way to stop him.

"You have to remember," she said trying again. "We are married. You proposed in the park. It was supposed to be a sunny day but it was raining instead. You said you couldn't wait until a better day. Our wedding was a week later."

"Shut up."

His words were harsh but his movement's slowed slightly. 

"Steve was there. He's your best friend. He's skinny and short and you'd always have to save him when you were kids."

"I said shut up." 

"You told me you'd always love me."

He lunged at her but Natasha dodged and kicked at his knees. He dropped to the ground, hanging his head low. He didn't move for several minutes, just letting the rain fall down upon him.

Cautiously, Natasha finally approached him. She didn't want it to be a trap. She didn't think it was but she couldn't be sure. His reaction scared her and she needed to know if he was okay. Because even though he did just try to kill her, she still loved him.

Gently, Natasha laid a hand on his shoulder. She could feel him trembling and she didn't think it was just from the cold rain. She wanted to comfort him some more but she didn't dare. 

"Natasha?"

Natasha stilled as he spoke her name. Slowly he raised his head. There was confusion in his eyes. He was no longer the monster who tried to kill her but he also wasn't the man she once knew. It was like he barely recognized her.

But that didn't matter.

"Yes," she said as she knelt next to him and hugged him. It was cold and wet but she didn't care. "Are you okay?"

His voice was soft and the word came out more like a whimper. "No."

* * *

_**December 21st - Journal Entry #202**  
It seems odd for it to be December but when I look out my window I see nothing but a warm, sandy beach. The decision to move south was good for both of us. James, doesn't remember a lot and I wish there was more I could do for him. He's coming along though. Less afraid that what he was when we first moved here._

They wasted little time before leaving the city. They returned to Natasha's apartment where she packed their bags - having kept several of Bucky's clothes - and had caught the first bus out of there. During a break while on the road, Natasha had phoned Maria, letting her know she was done. That the Winter Soldier was nothing to worry about. When Maria began asking questions Natasha hung up. She didn't care about the money she was still owed. She had everything she wanted.

Their journey had been quiet. Bucky hadn't spoke a lot. He was too confused and lost. Eventually they made their way south where no one would look for them. It was then that Bucky had slowly begun to heal. He still had a long way to go though. It wasn't uncommon for nightmares to awake him during the night. There was nothing Natasha could do except hold him. 

Over time his memory slowly began returning. Natasha wasn't sure if he would ever regain everything that was stolen from him but that was okay. Whenever she catches him simply smiling at her she can't help but fall in love all over again.

Money wasn't a worry. Natasha had saved up a lot over the years. She had no reason to spend it before. Eventually Natasha knows she'll have to become a private detective again. This time however she was looking forward to the boring jobs. Because it meant that Bucky would be by her side as a partner.

Sometimes Natasha thought about calling Nick and letting him know what really happened. She always backed out though. She didn't want anything interrupting the peaceful life she and Bucky had managed to built for themselves. Nick likely knew anyway; it was hard keeping secrets from the man. Natasha often wondered if he had known about Bucky when he had hired her. She always decided though that it didn't particularly matter. The end result was the most important. And Natasha couldn't be happier.


End file.
